Motherhood as Self-discovery
The most wonderful thing about becoming a mother has been the way it has thrown me into an unrelenting quest for self-discovery. And photographing families has been an integral part of this journey.
Photographing Family dynamics
Photographing family’s Real Lives is so important to me. It moves me to greater self-reflection which always leads me to more thoughtful parenting, more conscious thought about my self and my own relationships as well as more moments of appreciation and joy. It lets me know I’m not alone when I struggle and that’s been a really life affirming experience.
Letting go of holding onto memories
I think we can all remember that feeling when our first child was born and we started our new life as parents. The sheer smallness of their fingers was overwhelming only to discover several days later those fingers had completely changed. Then we develop this desperate urge to hold onto everything. And most photographers use this to draw in customers. Capturing memories is one of the most commonly used phrases on photographers websites. And I felt it too. I took all the pictures. I wrote some kind of captain’s log of day-to-day goings on. But I couldn’t keep up. There were memories I remember having but couldn’t quite pull up and it broke my heart. I was face to face with the tired warning of older mothers “enjoy it, it goes so fast.” It created a fear that kept me awake at night.
It was so glorious, having this lovely little being with me and I wanted to posses every piece of the experience completely but time and memory made that impossible. Then my family was photographed by my colleague and friend, Anna-Liisa. I didn’t realize it until months later, but that anxiety vanished. I didn't need to make all the photographs, I didn’t weep when I remembered that I’d stopped logging all the little moments. I just enjoyed them. I didn't worry that I would forget, I accepted it. Anna-Liisa gave me my moments back because she made me free to live them and took away the need to preserve them. I’m not saying I can do this for you, I don't know what effect these pictures will have on your life, but I do know that they will give you more than what you see on the surface. They will give you a perspective shift and I do hope that if you’re so lucky as to notice its nature that you share it with me so that we can spread the word.
